We are not disturbed by things, but by the view which we take of them”.
When you look in the mirror, what do you say to yourself? Do you say “Hey Hi Me!” or do you, like most of us, criticize what you see? I don’t know why I struggle with this so much. I am all about love and loving oneself and yet I always get caught off guard when I look in a mirror.
Is it a brain thing? Does our brain have a critical eye that looks for changes and variances or maybe it expects to see a certain thing and then does get caught off guard. Just like I do when I remember I am 53 years old. How can that be??? I’m still a little kid! I seriously feel that way in my soul. I admit I am very childlike in my excitement for life and I tend to see the world through childlike eyes …. which I think is awesome btw 🙂
Whatever the reason I just want to get to the place where I look in the mirror and say “Hi Beautiful, how’s it going today? EnJOYing life? Great!”
A moment of self-compassion can change your entire day. A string of such moments can change the course of your life.
christopher k. germer
Yesterday, while thrift store shopping, I was lucky enough to pick up a copy of Brene Brown’s book “The Gifts of Imperfection” Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are.
Although I haven’t read it yet, I have been skimming some of the pages and it is definitely resonating with me. I am reminded once again that we are not in this alone. We all suffer from the same things, self-doubt, insecurities, fear, lack of self-confidence and more. We are NOT alone! You, me and the stranger across the road, we’ve all been here or are here right now.
I write about self-love and compassion often and it seems for good reason. We can be so hard on ourselves. As I write this, I am glancing over at my cat Bella, curled up in a chair and I realize that when I look at Bella so cute like that, I instantly feel this emotion that I would call compassion. Why? I am not sure. I don’t need to be compassionate to her or for her but for some reason that emotion comes to mind. It makes me think that we all have compassion in us but being compassionate to ourselves often seems so challenging.
In my quest of getting a better understanding of compassion I found these synonyms:
The two that jumped out at me the most, were soft-heartedness and warm-heartedness. Yes this is what I feel when I look at Bella all cuddled up over on that chair. My heart is warm and melting and I just want to go over there and kiss her or cuddle her.
What if we could look in the mirror and feel that way about ourselves? Would it have an impact? I think it would. And I think if we felt that way towards ourselves we would open up our capacity to feel these tender feelings toward others and then the whole world benefits just like the starfish story, one starfish at a time. 🙂
I hope you take the time to practice compassion and self-love for yourself today and always. I am going to start right away. Just writing this post has helped me to see the gift in compassion and to feel it’s power to shift and to heal. Will you join me? I would love to hear also what synonyms for compassion resonated with you or jumped out at you? 🙂
Wishing you a day full of JOY and Compassion……
Maggie Holbik.com is a Certified Life Coach & Certified Infinite Possibilities Trainer & Coach who loves to write as a way of expressing her feelings. She thanks you for taking the time today to stop by and spend a moment with her in her heart and soul.
An Amazing Story of Transformation from Suffering to FREEDOM!
Last night in the grocery store I was witness to something pretty amazing!
I ran into a woman who used to work for me and she was a different person. I have run into her a couple of times in the last couple of years and each time she has transformed more and more into this new beautiful person. But last night she was off the charts AMAZING!
In the past she was sick, in pain, down, irritable and you could tell she was just not happy. She didn’t enjoy her work or her life.
I will call this woman ‘Mary’. What changed for Mary? Mary became empowered. She left her husband and ventured out on her own. She now has her own home and she is happy. Her energy was light and airy and her eyes twinkled and sparkled and she looked like a completely different person to me.
Mary is excited about life now, no longer in physical pain, and she appeared radiantly happy. It just brought me so much JOY to see this. She even declared how happy she is and you could see it!
Sometimes in life we have to leave things like situations, jobs, relationships when they are no longer serving us for our highest good. What is the price we pay if we do not and we are suffering? We stay in suffering.
For me, any relationship that I have in my life, should empower me, not disempower me. Whether it is my friend, my partner, or a business relationship, I believe it should be mutually empowering, uplifting and beneficial for all, otherwise I am out.
Mary was such a clear messenger on how powerful and positive a change like this could make. She honored herself enough to leave this relationship that was not serving her and was not a loving and supportive situation, to keep it simple. I will not go into details. The point is that Mary took her life back and is now thriving and not merely surviving.
I just had to share this story because to me it is a sign of HOPE and what can be. Our lives can change when we choose to look closely at those things that are not serving us and are in fact disempowering ourselves, even if they are simple things like habits, conversations, self-talk, fears, etc.
By taking a look at what makes you ‘feel good’ in your life and what ‘sucks your life force and energy’, you can get clear on what you want more of in your life and what has to go.
I hope you found this post helpful even if it is just to open up more to ‘feeling’ your way through life and to use your feelings as your GPS to more Happiness.
Have an amazing day and I send nothing but Blessings to all who are reading this. 🙂
Maggie Holbik.com is a Certified Life Coach and Certified Infinite Possibilities Trainer & Coach who loves to empower and encourage people to take charge of their happiness and to design lives that they love. When you love your life, you radiate out into the world that love and it makes a huge difference for all of mankind. 🙂
Often I am commenting on posts that I really, really, like and I like put “Love, Love, Love!” in the comments to show how much I like it. 🙂
The interesting thing is that almost all the time, I misspell one of the Loves and it goes something like this. “Love, Live, Love”. And I say to myself something like “oh I made a mistake” but my heart always says “No, it’s perfect!” Love, Live, Love!!!
I got to thinking about this and it is so true! If we don’t have love in our lives, especially for ourselves, we cannot truly live! We are comprised of love. Every cell in our body is and came from love and will return to love. Today in my morning meditation I saw every cell in my body as littles tiny hearts. ❤ ❤ ❤ It was a great visual.
If we want to fast tract our lives to a JOYous journey here on earth or to a blissful state, then we need to fast track our love of self.
This morning when I opened FB I saw a this beautiful post from my friend Paul Luftenger. Paul is a Multi Award Winning Published Singer Songwriter In 120+ Countries
“Paul Writes, Sings, and Composes Conscious Music To Inspire Global Love & Kindness From Within – Powerful Conscious Music Always Supporting The Heart & Soul To Feel and Know Its Beauty and Divine Holy Worth From The Inside Out!”
Paul is one of my favorite people and in his FB post this morning he wrote this. I can’t help but share it here because it is on point:
From Paul’s FB Post:
“What I wish all human beings on earth knew today.
To be kind and gentle and loving to oneself.
To stop pointing fingers at others by embracing the light of love and kindness from within oneself.
I have learned that the real pain of the world comes from one place…the space within oneself projected out on others without regard or responsibility of one’s own energy or vibration. It is the biggest lie ever told.
Healthy people have healthy hearts and healthy souls; they don’t harm others – but rather embrace the self healing process from within oneself.
I have learned in my 42 years of being human that the one person that has to be loved and forgiven is the hardest person to fully embrace and love, and that is oneself.
I use to be so hard on him.
I use to tell him he couldn’t sing or dance or be free.
I use to scold him for being scared.
I use to belittle him for all the stupid choices he had made.
I use to tell him he was weak.
I use to feel he wasn’t smart enough…. or that he was too stupid or too pathetic or too gay or too ugly…..until one day I embraced him for all the things he was…it came to be known after I prayed to God for help on the day my father hung himself….I was shown by God to love the spark of God that he was…. for he was shown that he was a piece of God….. and I began to love the child he once was… the gift to the world he had forgotten he was and day by day his light began to be brighter….and brighter….and brighter.
That precious child within me healed all of my wounds with God’s pure loving grace through letting go and taking the knife away from his own throat.
Each time I cried to God in my darkness, I begged God to show me the way…and God did.
Each day God picked me up out of the mud and pain and shame of my life and showed me I could shine my light. Some people hated me for it… some told me I wasn’t good enough and tried to destroy me….some people discarded me for it… but each day God showed my that my soul was meant to shine and that those who were cruel to me, like me, had forgotten that they could shine from their heart and soul too.
I loved that precious little boy in me whole again with God’s pure love, and the stains of the self hatred started to disappear and vanish from within me…. I began to self illuminate my life from my heart and soul working together reminding others of the light within them.
That little boy is now a man…and one I am so proud to be. When I look at myself in the mirror now, I see all the love that my heart and soul was able to spread.
I have learned that love really is the superpower in the world and it begins with obeying God and trusting and having faith in his way…
Love your enemy, and obey God, by loving yourself again…. by being honest and responsible for the energy you create by being the heart and soul that is within you.
You are not what the world told you you are. You are free of all of that once you claim it.
This is what I know for sure.
Love… and be kind to the little boy or the little girl within you.”
Well that was a beautiful way to start my day. Reading Paul’s post and then I commented with my famous typo “Love, Live, Love”, which seemed perfect, of course, and led me to this blog post. Everything is divinely perfect when we open to the flow of universal LOVE.
Have an amazing day everyone. I send you nothing but LOVE and I hope you LIVE LOVE today.
❤ ❤ ❤
Maggie Holbik.com is a Certified Life Coach, Pysch-K Facilitator & Infinite Possibilities Trainer & Coach who trained directly under Mike Dooley. Mike Dooley is a New York Times Bestselling author, speaker, and entrepreneur in the philosophical New Thought movement. His teachings contain the premise that our “thoughts become things,” an expression he made popular in Rhonda Byrne’s book and video documentary on the Law of Attraction, The Secret.
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.
oscar wilde – playwright, poet, author
There are so many advantages to loving ourselves more. It is good for our mind, body, and soul and helps every single cell in our bodies to thrive rather than just survive.
The most beautiful thing you can do for yourself is to practice self-love. The best and thing about self-love is that you will NEVER be lonely if you love yourself and you will always be bathed in love. Now how awesome is that? ❤ ❤ ❤
Sure it is lovely to enJOY the company and companionship of others but when you can feel good and comfortable with yourself and with spending time alone, you really tap into a form of peace that most people in the world are seeking. It is such a beautiful place to be and well worth the effort of consciously and actively working on loving yourself more.
And always remember that the practice of self-love is like a muscle, so the more you do it or use it, the bigger it gets! EnJOY!
Maggie Holbik.com is a Certified Infinite Possibilities Trainer & Coach who works at self-love on a daily basis. She encourages others to do the same because when we are truly empowered and filled with our own love lights, we can shine our love onto the entire planet and help to illuminate the souls of others. 🙂
It is spring here where I live and the grass is just starting to get green. We haven’t really had much hot weather to help; however, the dandelions are starting to pop out. I love dandelions and they have amazing health benefits. To me, these are not weeds…. just sayin.
Yesterday this grass was filled with dandelions but today they are gone. Well not really. They are hiding. It is interesting to note that today is rainy and cloudy and the dandelions have retracted. They will, once again, pop out and smile at us when the sun comes out.
This got me thinking about people. We can be like these dandelions. When we are afraid or have low self worth or lack of self love, we contract rather than expand. We don’t let our shiny and beautiful spirit shine like it could!
When we feel empowered and worthy, we expand our energy field and we reach toward the sun!
I am so excited to be doing the work that I am doing with the Infinite Possibilities program, The Art of Changing Your Life, which helps people to expand their spirit, awaken their dreams, manifest their ideal life, and to most importantly be the soul that reaches for the sun and be in all its glory.
Contact me today if you would like to get started on your path to letting your soul shine and making your dreams come true!
I had a call from a coaching client looking for some quick tips to get him through a rough spot. For the sake of confidentiality I will call him “Ben”.
Ben called me and expressed that he was feeling inadequate in his life, in his job, and as a provider to his family.
We chatted for a while and I suggested to Ben that he be more gentle on himself and that he talk to himself as a best friend would do. I asked him what he would say to the 5 year old version of himself? He responded with something like “you will have to figure a way out of this”.
I suggested that he might say things like:
I’ve got your back.
I’m here for you.
It’s not as bad as it seems.
Together we will get through this.
I also suggested to Ben that if he could work at getting excited about what the future holds, it could help him bridge himself from his painful present. Sometimes we need a bridge to transition us and I have found that focusing on the prospect of a brighter future is sometimes better than ‘being in the Now’ when the Now is painful.
In reflecting after the call, I realized that if Ben could find JOY in his current job and life, he could give his family a gift better than he could imagine in his mind. He was worried about being a good provider, Dad, and husband. But imagine if he could show them that he can have JOY and appreciation for the work he does have currently. It would be a far greater gift for his family than seeing the weight of the world on his shoulders.
And when we shift our frequency from pain to comfort, we can start attracting more of that which is good and is a better opportunity or a better fit for us.
Be happy with what you have while working for what you want.
Maggie Holbik.com is a Certified Life Coach, Speaker, Workshop Facilitator and Blogger, who loves to make people feel better by using her words to uplift, inspire and shift frequencies from Fear to LOvE!
“To thine own self be true”says Polonius in Hamlet. Very wise words indeed!
Yesterday as I was preparing for my guest appearance over on Elevated Radio today, talking about “owning our own voice and being who we are“, I came up with this acronym and thought it was pretty darn good. I know I sure will be keeping this handy to remind myself to just be ‘Me’. 🙂
Be YourSELF YourSELF = Your Own Unique Real SELF
As of late, the topic of being real, raw, and authentic is a hot one in my world. I am personally working at getting better at this. In fact, I am challenging myself!
Yesterday a client and I were discussing through FB my blog post from yesterday where I was talking about judging and criticizing myself in my picture of myself. She mentioned she did it too! I said that I think we all do and then I sent her this:
Here was her response to me:
I answered her with IKR? (I know right) :-). But when I really thought about this, I thought I am onto something here. If I/we can challenge ourselves to put ourselves out there in a raw and real way, it will just get easier and then I can see the scales flipping! The more comfortable we get, the more we accept ourselves, the more we LOVE ourselves, and the more we are truly, truly, FREE.
FREE to be us! FREE to be comfortable with who we are. FREE to share our gifts with the world.
Now how awesome would that be? Let’s do it, shall we? 🙂
Maggie Holbik.com is a Certified Life Coach and Board Certified Nutritionist who has a passion to help people to share their authentic selves with the world. She wants to see everyone sharing their gifts, being free to be THEM, shining their lights and living with passion!
Help me to remember that everyone I encounter is a child of God who will respond to pure LOVE”.
Alan cohen from his book “a breath of life”
Sometimes I turn to books for inspiration for my daily writing and to boost my own soul at the same time. Today I was drawn to this book from Alan Cohen. I had the pleasure of meeting Alan at a seminar he was speaking at and I was attending last November in Honolulu, Hawaii. I thoroughly enJOYed meeting him and listening to him speak. He exuberates the very definition of LOVE.
Here is a picture of the two of us. 🙂 Of course when I looked at this picture today, I was criticizing myself that I needed a hair cut in this picture, I was looking at my double chin or was it a triple chin lol etc. etc. There was a lot I could find ‘wrong’ with this picture…….
And then I stopped myself and said “Wait, Maggie this is not loving yourself, which is the whole point of this blog post. Love ourselves and one another and we will respond to this pure LOVE!
To help with this, I am working at being even more ME. I am actually challenging myself to do this through more self acceptance, realness, rawness, and even video! LOL! If you have ever worked at doing videos of yourself, you know what I mean. 🙂
Tomorrow I will be a guest over on Elevated Radio and will be talking about this very thing. It is going to be about owning our own voices and being who we are, which sounds delightful doesn’t it? 🙂
I must confess that I just reread this blog post, as I do often, while composing posts, and I had to stop because I got teary eyed. I got teary eyed with the realization that most of us, including myself, have a deep seated fear of just being ‘who we are’. I know some of you reading this, who are my coaching clients for example, might not realize this about me or you might, but either way, I too suffer from this! And this is why I am challenging myself to be more me everyday and to share that with the world. Will you join me? 🙂
Maggie Holbik.com is a Certified Life Coach and Board Certified Nutritionist who more importantly is a human being having a spiritual experience as she makes her own way through life, hoping she impacts others positively while co-creating on this beautiful journey of many souls.
As of late, I seem to be lead to the words compassion and compassionate. I myself, am working diligently at being more compassionate and less judgmental which quite honestly is a work in progress. The cool thing though, is I am realizing that the more compassionate I am, the less I suffer. Wow. Think about that one for a moment…..
The More Compassionate We Are, The Less WE Suffer
The more compassionate we are, the less WE suffer. I don’t know about you, but I’m in. 🙂
Just imagine a scenario where and when you might be judging someone without compassion. Maybe it’s judging the acts of a parent from your childhood, or a situation you witnessed at the park, or someone who declares that they are a supporter of a certain cause, or way of being, and you witness the opposite, or the grumpy store clerk that you want to judge and give the evil eye to. You know this list. It’s endless.
When I was a teenager, I had an ‘experience’ which I will now call a spiritual experience. It was made known to me that I was here on earthto learn to “Love and Not Judge”. I mostly forgot about this for much of my life, but lately I am getting gentle nudges to remember this and to act upon it. These reminders come through movies like the one I watched the other day called “The Shack”, which I really en-JOY-ed and recommend. It’s now on Netflix.
Reminders also come from watching the pains of those I love and my own pains as we go through life and we interact with those around us. I am reminded to let go of being the ‘judger‘. I know not why people do what they do and really it does not matter. The only thing I know for sure is that LOVE does heal all wounds, and true healing love is unconditional. Maybe not always in this lifetime for everyone, but it is possible and that gives me HOPE. There is always HOPE.
The Less We Judge Others, The More Peaceful WE Are!
What I also know for sure, is that the less I judge, the more peaceful I am and the more peaceful those I encounter are. Who likes to be judged? It’s an awful feeling. It’s like when you have someone come into your home and tell you what you should get rid of, or that you don’t need something, or you do need something, or you shouldn’t wear a certain piece of clothing because of xyz, or you should lose weight, or you should gain weight, or you should quit smoking, or you should stop this behavior or that behavior, or you should be this way or that way, or you should have said this or you shouldn’t have said that. It truly feels like an invasion of self and soul and it makes one very vulnerable.
Start With Self & Then Expand
We all know that having compassion for oneself is the ultimate compassion mountain to climb. I can be very hard on myself, just like the clients I coach who tell me how hard they are on themselves, so I know it’s not just me. I think we all struggle with this one because we are so afraid of self betrayal and truly struggle with loving ourselves and knowing that we are worthy. The secret here, is that if there is no judgement, worth does not even come into question!!!!! Wowsa! Amazing! Eureka! Something to think on and ponder on very deeply……
I am bearing witness to the many ways I judge and I am working on getting better at it. I am sorry to all those who I have passed judgement on and yet I am compassionate for myself for doing so. The exciting thing about all of this, is that awareness moves us forward. I am excited to work on having more compassion and I understand that all journeys involve steps, but they all start with the first….
I hope you found some comfort in this writing and I would love to hear your comments on how you have found more compassion in your life. That is another thing that I have learned, we don’t have to do it all alone…. being together on the journey provides comfort as well.
Blessings to all of you reading this. Blessings sent to others are of the highest and most compassionate frequency available to us. It’s like LOVE at its utmost, so many, many BLESSINGS sent to you, right now, right in this moment as YOU read this words.
With Much Love,
Maggie Holbik.com is a Certified Life Coach, Board Certified Nutritionist and human being who is trying to remember to have more compassion and to forgive self and others quickly and easily so she can make space for more LOVE in her life and in the lives of those around her.
“The only way out of the labyrinth of suffering is to forgive.”