faith, Life's Challenges, trust

14 Years Ago Today My Life was Forever Changed

Today is my late mother’s birthday. I will forever remember this day in the year 2005. It was the day that I found out I was pregnant. This was the biggest surprise that I have ever had in my life, and the best surprise of course. 🙂

I was absolutely shocked the day I found this out and it seems like it was just yesterday and a thousand years ago at the same time. It has been such a JOYous journey. Of course there have been the ups and the downs, but the JOY has been immense.

Sivanna was born premature at 32 weeks weighing 3lbs 15 oz. I can still see ‘my little bird’. She was so tiny and we fed her with a syringe.

This whole experience makes me think of two things:

1) Vulnerability

2) Faith & Trust

Not only was my little girl so young and vulnerable but so was I. I felt fragile and my whole world as I knew it changed in that moment when she was born. What I thought would be a JOYous time was actually a very fearful time and I had to have Faith & Trust and that was not easy. One thing that really helped me through this time was a voice that spoke to me one night before I even knew that I was pregnant, but was pregnant… The voice said “Don’t worry I am coming and everything will be okay”. I will never forget the night I heard that energetic voice while gazing at the stars from my hottub. Those words were a catalyst in my getting through the 39 days of Sivanna being in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) until I brought her home.

Another thing that helped me was her Dad who would say “Honey, some day this will just be a memory”. And that turned out to be true.

Me holding my little bird

When I look at this picture and into my eyes I see the fear and yet I see the strength that got this woman through this to what is now just a memory. There were so many great lessons through this struggle and I appreciate every one. I believe in life the greatest trials lead us to the greatest JOYs.

I am forever amazed and how tiny her hand was. A sight I will always remember. That tiny little hand now makes art, scratches my back and also holds my hand. ❤

I am also grateful for so many things in my life. I am grateful for my daughter Sivanna Rose. I am grateful for the amazing health care that we received in this beautiful country. I am grateful that that fearful time is indeed now a memory and I’m excited. I am excited for another day on earth. I am excited for what lies ahead for myself and my family.

And Mom, I send you Happy Heavenly Birthday wishes. It will always be special to me that your birthday was the day I found out my life was to be forever changed with the gift of a daughter of my own.

My Mother and I sometime long ago. She died in 1993. Interestingly my daughter’s school is in the background here.
community, kindness, support

The Power of Unexpected Kindness

Unexpected kindness is the most powerful, least costly, and most underrated agent of human change”.

Bob kearrey

A word that comes to my mind on a frequent basis lately, is the word ‘support’. When we feel supported in life, it is like nothing other.

Support helps to recharge our emotional batteries when they are weak. Even a small gesture is a sign of support. I often smile when I am, for example, in an airport, and I see a Mom struggling to carry everything between the stroller, diaper bag, suitcase etc. Why I smile is that I can usually tell who has children and who does not in regards to who steps up to the plate to help Mom. Not that people who do not have children are not kind people but until you yourself experience this juggling act, you don’t realize how hard it is and you truly learn to appreciate the support or the kind gesture of a stranger that offers to help.

I for one, do my best to help out way more now than I ever did before I had my child. Whether it’s putting away a shopping cart for them while they buckle in their little ones or holding open doors, I do it when I see the opportunity. I know how these simple little things can mean so much and I know that the struggle is real :-).

And it is much deeper than merely holding a door open. It’s offering a sense of support and community to someone else and in many cases to a complete stranger which makes it even more profound and meaningful.

Wherever there is a human in need, there is an opportunity for KINDNESS and to make a difference.”

Keven Heath

Let us choose kindness always. When we show support for even one person in our day, it truly has a ripple effect and makes a huge difference to that one person.