Resolve to be tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, tolerant with the weak, and forgiving with the wrong. Sometime in your life you will have been all of these.Lloyd Shearer
A Poem by my Spouse and Friend, Don Perry
In goodness and kindness, God made us like him,
So we can make a difference in this world we are in.
Be kind to the person with the different colored skin,
For he is your brother with the same feelings within.
Be kind to the beggar who begs night and day,
For we don’t know why his life is that way.
Be kind to the person who is having a bad day.
Forgive and don’t judge him for he words he might say.
Be kind with your words and things that you do,
And people will like it and duplicate you.
If we are all being kind in the things that we do and say,
We can change the world as we know it today.
Tonight I had a digital conversation with a coaching client and it brought up a very important topic, one that I think is important for all of us when we need to heal and move forward in life.
I will call my client Rose. We were discussing some pain around Rose and her feelings towards her departed mother. When Rose described to me the way her mother was in her actions, the behaviour that Rose found hurtful and negative, I asked Rose if she herself had ever behaved this way or could be seen this way. She responded with a “Yes”.
I then asked Rose to imagine her own child or children saying this about her 20 years from now. I then told her that she might feel like saying something like this in response “but you don’t understand why I felt like this, please don’t judge me, I need love actually”…
Rose was moved by this and started to shift the way she saw her mother. I also suggested she have compassion for her mother and to energetically hold her mother in her arms and tell her that she did not understand why she did or said the things she did that caused Rose pain, but that she would try to have compassion and understanding for her mother.
I suggested that Rose turn her loathing into love so that she, Rose, could release her own pain.
I also suggested to Rose that she see her Mom as a baby, a young girl, a woman her own age feeling the very inadequacies and pain that Rose herself now feels, and to see her mom as a vulnerable person rather than the mean person Rose saw from her own personalization of her mother that caused HER pain.
I also suggested to Rose that it is way easier to opt for anger and resentment than to Rise Above to Love, but Love will be what sets her free. Anger, blame and resentment are easy opt-ins for most people. I suggested to Rose that she had both the capacity and the space to rise above to love and that if her mother had felt love, understanding and felt supported in life, she would not have acted in the manner she had. People full of love do not hurt others. Hurt people hurt others.
Rose asked me if by shifting the way she saw her Mom did this mean she was she agreeing with what her mother did to her or how horribly she had treated her. I told her No and that she was meeting the situation with understanding at a higher level, and that she was having compassion for her mother. I asked Rose directly, if she really thought her mother would have behaved like that if she had felt good about herself, if she had felt loved and personally empowered. Rose answered “I guess not. I never thought about it like that”.
We concluded our conversation with Rose’s homework of holding her mother in her arms,in her mind, so that Rose could expand her own heart and include her Mom and herself, because what we give out we get back. I also reminded Rose that love can heal even after death and that if Rose wanted to heal and be free from pain, this would be of great benefit to her.
What about you? Who do you need to need to Rise Above to Love for? Maybe it’s a person or a situation. When you can expand your heart to shift the way you see the person or situation, and have compassion you will gain compassion and love for yourself too. Everyone wins here. 🙂
Maggie Holbik.com is a Certified Life Coach and Nutritionist who believes wholeheartedly in the power of Love and is working at finding more compassion in her own life for herself and others. Compassion is one of the beautiful threads in the tapestry of unconditional love that weaves the way to peace.
“Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live”. Dorothy Thompson
What if you decided that 2019 is going to be the year to Love yourself more? By letting go of fear, we open the path to Love and Living and yes with Capitals! They are that important! 🙂
Fear is what holds us back and constricts us. Love expands and fear contracts. The fastest and easiest way to move through fear is to shine the light of love and this starts with us!!!
We can start to love ourselves more by being our own Lover. This includes, but is not limited to, saying kind things to ourselves, being gentle with ourselves, allowing time for rest, feeding our bodies with nutritious food, forgiving ourselves, consoling ourselves, and one that I would like to add in that I feel is important, is by empowering ourselves. And we empower ourselves by doing all of those things just mentioned and more.
When we feel personally empowered we feel stronger and more capable of loving ourselves. True personal power comes from within. This means that WE have the capability to ramp up this personal power and that in itself is truly empowering!
I hope each and everyone of you reading this whether today, or in the future, claims and grasps your birthright, your entitlement which includes personal empowerment and self-love to ramp up your divine beauty so that 2019 and beyond can be the life that is better than your wildest and craziest dreams! Hold your own hand. Be your own Lover and a Lover of Life! It’s yours for the taking.
Maggie Holbik.com is a Certified Life Coach and Nutritionist who believes in living fearlessly and in love, and creates many opportunities to forgive herself, to grow, and to be human. She struggles along just as we all do, knowing that each and every day is a new opportunity to reconnect to ‘who we truly are’… LOVE.
Anita Moorjani, author of “Dying to be Me” and more recently “What if THIS is Heaven”, on a recent FB Live Video had shared the concept of Self-Love rather than Self-Sacrifice. We are all good in the self-sacrifice department, but many of us fall down in the self-love arena, wouldn’t you agree?
I think the message of more self-love is an ever-important message, especially for the women of the world, who tend to take care of the needs of everyone else first and foremost.
One of the ways I personally am trying to practice self-love is by applying personal forgiveness. For example, when I have a thought such as I should not have said that, or did I really do that, or whatever thought that pops to mind that causes me feelings of unworthiness, regret, guilt, or shame, etc., I try to apply what I now call “Instant Forgiveness”.
Lately I have been getting a profound understanding of the power of ‘in an instant’. This most likely stems from technology as in sending an email or a photo from one of my devices and seeing it received on another, at what seems to be the exact same time or instant. The witnessing of this has opened my mind and instilled a knowing in me that things can indeed happen instantly. I have come to believe that healing, forgiveness or letting go of something whether it’s a thought, a belief or a pattern does not have to be a long drawn out process. We can forgive ourselves in an instant if we make that our intention. Just think of that email sent across the world, in an instant and you know anything is possible… in an instant. 🙂
Everyday I am working on ways to practice more self-love. One of the best ways I have found is to take time to read from books like Anita’s current book, “What is THIS were Heaven?”. One of my favorite quotes from the book so far, is a message that was given to her when she found she had once again gotten lost in everyone’s pain and the woes of the world. It goes like this “Remember your only work is to love yourself, value yourself, and embody the truth of self-worth and self-love so that you can be love in action. That is true service, to yourself and to those around you.”
So today I leave you with the concept of “Instant Forgiveness” for yourself and others because the moment we forgive, we give to ourselves the gift of the release of pain and suffering. Let us forgive instantly and often so we can be the love that the world so needs right now. Will you join me by practicing Instant Forgiveness and more Self-Love? Let’s do it for the world, shall we? 🙂
Maggie Holbik is a Life & Business Coach who believes that if you love life, if will love you back… now that’s the magic.
Feelings are our road to recovery, our road to peace and well-being. When we are in a space of quiet despair or unrest, we can use our feelings to guide us back to peace and even to hopefulness.
By drawing our attention and intention to thoughts that center around gratitude and love, we can tip the scales from fear to love, or to peace within. If we stopped to truly contemplate the compilation of life’s moments that comprise a lifetime, I am sure we would desire that the moments consisted of harmonious energies and thoughts that served our highest good, verses those that were negative and self-destructive. I am sure at the end of our lives we would wonder why we wasted one precious second or moment in a fear based space.
It is not always easy to love ourselves fully in every moment, but the more we shift our focus to the feelings of gratitude and well-being, the easier it becomes.
The other thing that happens is we develop a deeper compassion and understanding for others travelling along on this earthly journey. Judgement of ourselves and others is a barrier to freedom and to peace of mind. Try taking just one moment now to release yourself from self condemnation or self-judgement. Have compassion for yourself and in turn you cast compassion on others.
We are all doing the best we can and learning and growing as we go. We all have slips and falls and brush ourselves off and get back up again.
I wish everyone, including myself, the freedom to let go of self defeating thoughts, memories, regrets, should haves, should have nots, and to move through the tunnel of love and towards self acceptance.
Let us all experience more moments of beauty, grace, and love in this orchestra of life expressing itself through us.