faith, hope, trust

Daddy’s Hand in Mine

Daddy’s first hand holding of Sivanna Rose

I was working on a presentation this afternoon for my upcoming Infinite Possibilities class next week. A portion of the class will cover the topics of Faith & Trust and the Magical Universe. In this class I usually share the story of the birth of my daughter who was born premature at 32 weeks.

I was looking for some pictures to put in the slide show and found this one which of course made my heart melt. It was the first time her dad held her little hand…. This picture is so precious to me.

This whole experience was a test of strength, trust and courage for me. I have written about it in a book that will be coming out soon.

Life often gives us times where we need to have faith and trust and sometimes it is harder than others. Now when I look at my beautiful and amazing 13 year old girl I am in awe. I am in awe of the journey, in trusting, and in the miracle of life itself.

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Good Morning!

I was up early this morning, around 5 am, not sleeping because I was so excited to get out of bed and work on my presentation for an upcoming Infinite Possibilities workshop I am doing at a community center in my city this Wednesday evening.

I am working on the Chapter “Taking Action” and while I was doing that I went over to my website to grab something I wrote in 2005. I reread it while inserting it into my presentation and thought Wow! This is good stuff and is just as applicable today as it was then. So then I thought why not share it over here in case someone else might enJOY it or benefit from it.

So here is the slide:

Have a great day everyone!

faith, Life's Challenges, trust

14 Years Ago Today My Life was Forever Changed

Today is my late mother’s birthday. I will forever remember this day in the year 2005. It was the day that I found out I was pregnant. This was the biggest surprise that I have ever had in my life, and the best surprise of course. 🙂

I was absolutely shocked the day I found this out and it seems like it was just yesterday and a thousand years ago at the same time. It has been such a JOYous journey. Of course there have been the ups and the downs, but the JOY has been immense.

Sivanna was born premature at 32 weeks weighing 3lbs 15 oz. I can still see ‘my little bird’. She was so tiny and we fed her with a syringe.

This whole experience makes me think of two things:

1) Vulnerability

2) Faith & Trust

Not only was my little girl so young and vulnerable but so was I. I felt fragile and my whole world as I knew it changed in that moment when she was born. What I thought would be a JOYous time was actually a very fearful time and I had to have Faith & Trust and that was not easy. One thing that really helped me through this time was a voice that spoke to me one night before I even knew that I was pregnant, but was pregnant… The voice said “Don’t worry I am coming and everything will be okay”. I will never forget the night I heard that energetic voice while gazing at the stars from my hottub. Those words were a catalyst in my getting through the 39 days of Sivanna being in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) until I brought her home.

Another thing that helped me was her Dad who would say “Honey, some day this will just be a memory”. And that turned out to be true.

Me holding my little bird

When I look at this picture and into my eyes I see the fear and yet I see the strength that got this woman through this to what is now just a memory. There were so many great lessons through this struggle and I appreciate every one. I believe in life the greatest trials lead us to the greatest JOYs.

I am forever amazed and how tiny her hand was. A sight I will always remember. That tiny little hand now makes art, scratches my back and also holds my hand. ❤

I am also grateful for so many things in my life. I am grateful for my daughter Sivanna Rose. I am grateful for the amazing health care that we received in this beautiful country. I am grateful that that fearful time is indeed now a memory and I’m excited. I am excited for another day on earth. I am excited for what lies ahead for myself and my family.

And Mom, I send you Happy Heavenly Birthday wishes. It will always be special to me that your birthday was the day I found out my life was to be forever changed with the gift of a daughter of my own.

My Mother and I sometime long ago. She died in 1993. Interestingly my daughter’s school is in the background here.