To dream of the person you would like to be is to waste the person you are.
I am so trying to be more compassionate with myself. What about you? Are you able to enJOY the version of you right now? Or do you struggle with longing for a former version of yourself or a future version of you?
What if we just stopped this madness and got ok with us right now? I was chatting with my hair dresser the other day and was mentioning that I had gained weight and she had mentioned she had lost some. I shared with her how I was deciding to be okay with the fact that I had gained weight because I know that at the end of my life I will absolutely think that I wish I hadn’t wasted so much of my life worrying or beating myself up. I am sure I would wish I had used those precious moments of life to be happy rather than having negative feelings about myself. She agreed. 🙂
And we all go through these things. We gain, we lose, we change habits, we fall off of our tracks, we get back on, etc. etc. This applies to anything in our life. Healthy habits, positive thinking, working out, being kind to ourselves or not….. the cycle just continues…. We all go up and down in these cycles but really we are always just doing the best we can at the time we are doing it.
What if we just STOPPED? Stopped the madness of judging ourselves and others and turned to JOY and acceptance? What is we turned to Compassion and Kindness for self and others?
WOW, I think it would make a huge difference. Don’t you? 🙂
I wish whoever is reading this, personal peace, self-love, kindness and most of all lots of LOVE!
With the holidays fast approaching why not start thinking about a gift that you would like to give yourself this holiday season? I bet you are already thinking or have already gotten gifts for other people in your life. I bet you are super kind to others and are always thinking of them and how to make their lives happier, better, and more enJOYable. But what about you? What about a gift for you?
And the gift I am talking about for you needs no wrapping paper, is environmentally friendly, and when you receive and use the gift you give yourself, it helps you and the entire world! Now how is that for an awesome gift? 🙂
What is the Gift? It’s the gift of whatever you need to give yourself to release any emotional pain that you have. Maybe it’s the gift of compassion or the gift of forgiveness or the gift of don’t be too hard on yourself. Whatever it is, it is important that you give yourself the gift and that you receive it with open and loving arms. And by giving to yourself, you have more to give. As the saying goes “fill up your own cup first”. 🙂
I hope you take up my suggestion and that you carry your gift in your heart every day moving forward in your life. Life is meant to be JOYous and sometimes we are the very ones who block our channel for JOY by beating ourselves up or by not forgiving ourselves or whatever else we do that continues the cycle of personal pain.
May your heart be light, your holiday JOYous, and always remember some of the best gifts don’t come under the tree. 🙂
This morning a friend and I were having a telephone conversation. It came around to the topic of how important appreciation is. We were actually discussing business and life.
Somehow we ended up talking about the simple acts of kindness that make a huge difference. My friend, Teresa, mentioned that she often offers solicitors that come to her door, in the hot summer, water, or a snack. She mentioned one particular time when she gave one solicitor a few Kind bars and a bottle of water. He was so happy he didn’t even care that she didn’t want what he was selling. lol 🙂
But all joking aside, the small acts of kindness DOmake the biggest difference. I started talking about things such as offering food or drinks to the people that come to your home to service or repair your home’s ailments, giving up your seat on public transit, or a smile from a random stranger when you need it most . There are so many small acts of kindness that do make a huge difference.
I said you can give someone a million dollars and think that is a huge deal but sometimes just that smile that you need on a day when you feel you can’t go on anymore is an even bigger deal! That random smile could really save a life.
We both started to cry in this conversation and that is when I really knew how big of a deal small, random acts of kindness are.
Make you find it in your heart today to both give and receive kindness……. ❤ ❤ ❤
A moment of self-compassion can change your entire day. A string of such moments can change the course of your life.
christopher k. germer
Yesterday, while thrift store shopping, I was lucky enough to pick up a copy of Brene Brown’s book “The Gifts of Imperfection” Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are.
Although I haven’t read it yet, I have been skimming some of the pages and it is definitely resonating with me. I am reminded once again that we are not in this alone. We all suffer from the same things, self-doubt, insecurities, fear, lack of self-confidence and more. We are NOT alone! You, me and the stranger across the road, we’ve all been here or are here right now.
I write about self-love and compassion often and it seems for good reason. We can be so hard on ourselves. As I write this, I am glancing over at my cat Bella, curled up in a chair and I realize that when I look at Bella so cute like that, I instantly feel this emotion that I would call compassion. Why? I am not sure. I don’t need to be compassionate to her or for her but for some reason that emotion comes to mind. It makes me think that we all have compassion in us but being compassionate to ourselves often seems so challenging.
In my quest of getting a better understanding of compassion I found these synonyms:
The two that jumped out at me the most, were soft-heartedness and warm-heartedness. Yes this is what I feel when I look at Bella all cuddled up over on that chair. My heart is warm and melting and I just want to go over there and kiss her or cuddle her.
What if we could look in the mirror and feel that way about ourselves? Would it have an impact? I think it would. And I think if we felt that way towards ourselves we would open up our capacity to feel these tender feelings toward others and then the whole world benefits just like the starfish story, one starfish at a time. 🙂
I hope you take the time to practice compassion and self-love for yourself today and always. I am going to start right away. Just writing this post has helped me to see the gift in compassion and to feel it’s power to shift and to heal. Will you join me? I would love to hear also what synonyms for compassion resonated with you or jumped out at you? 🙂
Maggie Holbik.com is a Certified Life Coach & Certified Infinite Possibilities Trainer & Coach who loves to write as a way of expressing her feelings. She thanks you for taking the time today to stop by and spend a moment with her in her heart and soul.
It has been awhile since I have made a blog post. I just haven’t been inspired but now I realize that it’s all ok and that blogging involves sharing through the highs and lows of life.
There seems to be so much sadness around lately and so many people going through extremely trying times… all the cycles of life and of life and death.
Yesterday we lost a very precious woman who was close to my heart, Pam Bowling, Pam was a mentor to me in business, a business partner and a friend. She was an amazing lady and I will honor her memory always. Pam was very much an entrepreneur like myself. Pam held me in the light always and encouraged me and my entire team onto success and I am forever grateful for that. In memory of Pam I will continue to forge ahead and to also help others on their journeys of creating and designing lives that bring them freedom….. to love, to grow, to inspire, to dream and to create lives that allow them to make the most of their time here on earth.
Pam was beautiful inside and out and if you knew her, you loved her!
While contemplating all of the heavy hearts and toil I see and feel going on around me, the only word that keeps coming to mind is “kindness”. Kindness, Kindness, Kindness. We need to be kind to each other, we need to be kind to ourselves and to be gentle with ourselves and others.
Kindness is that part of love that reaches out and offers support in times of need. Kindness is the thread of hope that bridges the gaps between pain and suffering. Kindness is the glue that helps to heal the holes created by loss. Kindness is a gift……
The fragrance always stays in the hand that gives the rose.
If you are reading this and need support or comfort, please know that love and kindness are sent your way today.
I had a call from a coaching client looking for some quick tips to get him through a rough spot. For the sake of confidentiality I will call him “Ben”.
Ben called me and expressed that he was feeling inadequate in his life, in his job, and as a provider to his family.
We chatted for a while and I suggested to Ben that he be more gentle on himself and that he talk to himself as a best friend would do. I asked him what he would say to the 5 year old version of himself? He responded with something like “you will have to figure a way out of this”.
I suggested that he might say things like:
I’ve got your back.
I’m here for you.
It’s not as bad as it seems.
Together we will get through this.
I also suggested to Ben that if he could work at getting excited about what the future holds, it could help him bridge himself from his painful present. Sometimes we need a bridge to transition us and I have found that focusing on the prospect of a brighter future is sometimes better than ‘being in the Now’ when the Now is painful.
In reflecting after the call, I realized that if Ben could find JOY in his current job and life, he could give his family a gift better than he could imagine in his mind. He was worried about being a good provider, Dad, and husband. But imagine if he could show them that he can have JOY and appreciation for the work he does have currently. It would be a far greater gift for his family than seeing the weight of the world on his shoulders.
And when we shift our frequency from pain to comfort, we can start attracting more of that which is good and is a better opportunity or a better fit for us.
Be happy with what you have while working for what you want.
Maggie Holbik.com is a Certified Life Coach, Speaker, Workshop Facilitator and Blogger, who loves to make people feel better by using her words to uplift, inspire and shift frequencies from Fear to LOvE!
As of late, I seem to be lead to the words compassion and compassionate. I myself, am working diligently at being more compassionate and less judgmental which quite honestly is a work in progress. The cool thing though, is I am realizing that the more compassionate I am, the less I suffer. Wow. Think about that one for a moment…..
The More Compassionate We Are, The Less WE Suffer
The more compassionate we are, the less WE suffer. I don’t know about you, but I’m in. 🙂
Just imagine a scenario where and when you might be judging someone without compassion. Maybe it’s judging the acts of a parent from your childhood, or a situation you witnessed at the park, or someone who declares that they are a supporter of a certain cause, or way of being, and you witness the opposite, or the grumpy store clerk that you want to judge and give the evil eye to. You know this list. It’s endless.
When I was a teenager, I had an ‘experience’ which I will now call a spiritual experience. It was made known to me that I was here on earthto learn to “Love and Not Judge”. I mostly forgot about this for much of my life, but lately I am getting gentle nudges to remember this and to act upon it. These reminders come through movies like the one I watched the other day called “The Shack”, which I really en-JOY-ed and recommend. It’s now on Netflix.
Reminders also come from watching the pains of those I love and my own pains as we go through life and we interact with those around us. I am reminded to let go of being the ‘judger‘. I know not why people do what they do and really it does not matter. The only thing I know for sure is that LOVE does heal all wounds, and true healing love is unconditional. Maybe not always in this lifetime for everyone, but it is possible and that gives me HOPE. There is always HOPE.
The Less We Judge Others, The More Peaceful WE Are!
What I also know for sure, is that the less I judge, the more peaceful I am and the more peaceful those I encounter are. Who likes to be judged? It’s an awful feeling. It’s like when you have someone come into your home and tell you what you should get rid of, or that you don’t need something, or you do need something, or you shouldn’t wear a certain piece of clothing because of xyz, or you should lose weight, or you should gain weight, or you should quit smoking, or you should stop this behavior or that behavior, or you should be this way or that way, or you should have said this or you shouldn’t have said that. It truly feels like an invasion of self and soul and it makes one very vulnerable.
Start With Self & Then Expand
We all know that having compassion for oneself is the ultimate compassion mountain to climb. I can be very hard on myself, just like the clients I coach who tell me how hard they are on themselves, so I know it’s not just me. I think we all struggle with this one because we are so afraid of self betrayal and truly struggle with loving ourselves and knowing that we are worthy. The secret here, is that if there is no judgement, worth does not even come into question!!!!! Wowsa! Amazing! Eureka! Something to think on and ponder on very deeply……
I am bearing witness to the many ways I judge and I am working on getting better at it. I am sorry to all those who I have passed judgement on and yet I am compassionate for myself for doing so. The exciting thing about all of this, is that awareness moves us forward. I am excited to work on having more compassion and I understand that all journeys involve steps, but they all start with the first….
I hope you found some comfort in this writing and I would love to hear your comments on how you have found more compassion in your life. That is another thing that I have learned, we don’t have to do it all alone…. being together on the journey provides comfort as well.
Blessings to all of you reading this. Blessings sent to others are of the highest and most compassionate frequency available to us. It’s like LOVE at its utmost, so many, many BLESSINGS sent to you, right now, right in this moment as YOU read this words.
With Much Love,
Maggie Holbik.com is a Certified Life Coach, Board Certified Nutritionist and human being who is trying to remember to have more compassion and to forgive self and others quickly and easily so she can make space for more LOVE in her life and in the lives of those around her.
“The only way out of the labyrinth of suffering is to forgive.”
Tonight I had a digital conversation with a coaching client and it brought up a very important topic, one that I think is important for all of us when we need to heal and move forward in life.
I will call my client Rose. We were discussing some pain around Rose and her feelings towards her departed mother. When Rose described to me the way her mother was in her actions, the behaviour that Rose found hurtful and negative, I asked Rose if she herself had ever behaved this way or could be seen this way. She responded with a “Yes”.
I then asked Rose to imagine her own child or children saying this about her 20 years from now. I then told her that she might feel like saying something like this in response “but you don’t understand why I felt like this, please don’t judge me, I need love actually”…
Rose was moved by this and started to shift the way she saw her mother. I also suggested she have compassion for her mother and to energetically hold her mother in her arms and tell her that she did not understand why she did or said the things she did that caused Rose pain, but that she would try to have compassion and understanding for her mother.
I suggested that Rose turn her loathing into love so that she, Rose, could release her own pain.
I also suggested to Rose that she see her Mom as a baby, a young girl, a woman her own age feeling the very inadequacies and pain that Rose herself now feels, and to see her mom as a vulnerable person rather than the mean person Rose saw from her own personalization of her mother that caused HER pain.
I also suggested to Rose that it is way easier to opt for anger and resentment than to Rise Above to Love, but Love will be what sets her free. Anger, blame and resentment are easy opt-ins for most people. I suggested to Rose that she had both the capacity and the space to rise above to love and that if her mother had felt love, understanding and felt supported in life, she would not have acted in the manner she had. People full of love do not hurt others. Hurt people hurt others.
Rose asked me if by shifting the way she saw her Mom did this mean she was she agreeing with what her mother did to her or how horribly she had treated her. I told her No and that she was meeting the situation with understanding at a higher level, and that she was having compassion for her mother. I asked Rose directly, if she really thought her mother would have behaved like that if she had felt good about herself, if she had felt loved and personally empowered. Rose answered “I guess not. I never thought about it like that”.
We concluded our conversation with Rose’s homework of holding her mother in her arms,in her mind, so that Rose could expand her own heart and include her Mom and herself, because what we give out we get back. I also reminded Rose that love can heal even after death and that if Rose wanted to heal and be free from pain, this would be of great benefit to her.
What about you? Who do you need to need to Rise Above to Love for? Maybe it’s a person or a situation. When you can expand your heart to shift the way you see the person or situation, and have compassion you will gain compassion and love for yourself too. Everyone wins here. 🙂
Maggie Holbik.com is a Certified Life Coach and Nutritionist who believes wholeheartedly in the power of Love and is working at finding more compassion in her own life for herself and others. Compassion is one of the beautiful threads in the tapestry of unconditional love that weaves the way to peace.